WKS TV 10/29/11 (Week 2) Results

[Hipp]

The Bandit, Alessandro Briganti, and John Swaggerdick are backstage at a round table discussing last week's WKS debut show, and toght's second show.

The Bandit
All I'm sayin' is, some of these people dissapointed me last week. A few had good performances but quite frankly I was shocked that Rissi lost to that dragon.

Alessandro Briganti
Yeah we only have eight guys now too since Rissi couldn't cut it.

John Swaggerdick
I don't even care about that, we can replace him, besides, Girl Hipp will be here in a few weeks. What I do care about, is you guys not smoking that people on the job, man!

The Bandit
Look, I can cut you a deal on that FIFTH DIMENSION people if that's what your trying to say.

Alessandro Briganti
You ever wanted to kill a Giraffe and bury him in the desert? That FIFTH DIMENSION will make it happen.

John Swaggerdick
The fuck, I ain't Kevin Hart, I'm a business man, and if we're gonna keep doing this people, we gotta do it the right way!

The Bandit
Relax. Who says there's a wrong and a right way to do it?

Alessandro Briganti
Yeah, that's all just political bullpeople.

The Bandit
Here, just try that FIFTH DIMENSION. Just try it.

The Bandit lights a blunt and takes a puff of that FIFTH DIMENSION, before passing it to Swaggerdick. John, lifts it to his mouth, but The Bandit slaps him and takes the blunt back, as he and Briganti leave the room, and we head over to the Queen to start the show.

Queen Z

Hey fuck faces it's the Queen and a couple morons, aka the usual day for me, and we should have a good show for you toght here on WKS TV. But first, we have to play our theme song, Words I Never Said by Lupe Fiasco because the words he never said are, "I'm in the Illuminati."

[Hipp]

"Down In Mexico" by The Coasters plays and Solara comes out looking sexy. All she has to do is walk to the ring and she has every straight guy and lesbian in the arena's mind off wrestling.

Queen Z
The beautiful Solara was knocked the fuck out last week by Chad Jennings, she can't be happy about that.

Average N.
She doesn't have a black eye though so...still looks good.

Triple OG Richardson
Hopefully she'll get knocked out again so I can take advantage.

Average N.
There's no I in team...

Triple OG Richardson
Feel free to join me brother.

Queen Z
If that doesn't gross you out we'll probably find something else that does, later toght.

"I Stand Alone" by Godsmack plays and out comes The Fizz drinking a monster. She finishes it and tosses the can into the crowd before entering the ring.

Average N.
The Fizz is a tough girl I personally hope she kills Solara here toght.

Triple OG Richardson
...Homie don't play like that.

Average N.
You know I don't mean to kill her, just make sure she's asleep for awhile.

Queen Z
Yep, he wants one of our eight wrestlers in a coma so he can ra-

Average N.
She'd enjoy it-

Triple OG Richardson
He's just nervous cause he has a small penis.

Solara vs The Fizz

Queen Z
The bell rings and Solara and The Fizz are locking up...

Average N.
What the fuck?

Triple OG Richardson
Where'd you go my ninja?

Queen Z
You probably wouldn't know it from my atrocious broadcast partners, but the lights have been shut off...

Average N.
That music-

Queen Z
God's don't fuck with me I already don't like you-that's Hipp's theme song!

Triple OG Richardson
people is creepy.

Queen Z
The Paradox~Could it be opened earlier than expected?

Average N.
Let's not ask questions.

Triple OG Richardson
The lights are back on and I can see Average again, but I don't see Solara or The Fizz anywhere.

Queen Z
Solara and The Fizz have seemingly vanished.

Average N.
WHY! Why did this have to happen in a match between two pairs of boobs that we otherwise would of seen bouncing around for a good twenty minutes...

Triple OG Richardson
FACK!

Queen Z
Paraboobs?

[Hipp]

"The Final Episode" by Asking Alexandria plays and out comes Jack Daniels. He mostly ignores the fans and simply enters the ring, no flare needed.

Triple OG Richardson
I'm surprised you came out, rich boy!

Average N.
Hell, if I were Jack Daniels, I wouldn't even come out to the ring after what just happened!

Queen Z
Last week, Jack Daniels put up a good fight against Frank Shamrock, but in the end he couldn't pull out the victory. But what these guys are talking about happened just a few minutes ago, Solara and The Fizz were supposed to have a match, but instead the lights went out, DJ Hipp's old theme played, and when the lights came back, Solara and Fizz were gone. Hopefully nothing like that happens in this match.

"Mr. Nice Watch" by J.Cole feat. Jay Z plays and J C comes out and looks at his watch, and takes it off, putting it in his pocket for the match.

Triple OG Richardson
This boy knocked the black off Chad's ass last week with a chair!

Queen Z
That Lightning Spiral did more damage I think.

Average N.
Chad wants revenge, doesn't he?

Jack Daniels vs J C

Queen Z
Before the bell rings, J C is already leaving the ring...he grabs a microphone and rolls back in.

J C
After what happened at the start of the show, I'm not going to risk my safety, and that of this nice watch, for your entertainment. It's just not worth it.

Average N.
J C has dropped the mic and he's heading to the back!

Triple OG Richardson
Yeah and it looks like rich boy is picking it up.

Jack Daniels
Suffice to say, me too.

Queen Z
The crowd booing and Jack Daniels is joining J C at the top of the stage, but the lights have gone off again and there's Hipp's old theme again!

Average N.
Alright, what the fuck is going on?

Triple OG Richardson
Lights back on and....their gone too. SMH.

Queen Z
This can only be the work of one person...

Average N.
Yeah? Then who is it?

[Hipp]

The Bandit, Alessandro Briganti, and John Swaggerdick show up on the titantron.

The Bandit
DC, what's gucci?

The crowd pops for their hometown.

The Bandit
You probably noticed these matches keep gettin' interrupted by some fuck people.

John Swaggerdick
And we apologize for that, but I assure you, it won't be happening again.

Alessandro Briganti
Yeah, we took care of the problem.

The Bandit
So let's just leave it at that for now.

Some Guy
They shot me! I'm just the production guy-

The Bandit
...Isn't he hilarious?

Fade out.

We're back and zooming in on Kwhame Myles, scheduled to compete against Chad Jennings, Kwhame doesn't want to go out in the ring, but he also doesn't want to risk losing the title shot he hopes his connections with Swaggerdick will bring him.

"By Any Means" by Rick Ross plays and Kwhame Myles walks out onto the apron. He does a little shadow boxing on his way to the ring and waits for his opponent.

Average N.
Even with all the freaky people going on toght, Kwhame isn't scared.

Triple OG Richardson
What a OG!

Queen Z
Yeah, well I'm willing to bet Chad Jennings isn't either.

"Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit plays and Chad Jennings walks out. He cracks his knuckles and enters the ring, trying not to look scared.

Queen Z
What'd I tell you!

Triple OG Richardson
Oh please, his hands are shaking!

Average N.
He should be more scared of Kwhame than who ever's behind this people.

Kwhame Myles vs Chad Jennings

Queen Z
Kwhame and Chad touch knuckles as a sign of respect, and each man looking to score a crucial victory here toght.

Average N.
Kwhame going for a clothesline early but Chad ducks out of the way.

Triple OG Richardson
Chad with a clothesline attempt of his own but Kwhame ducks as well.

Queen Z
Kwhame's got Chad leaning against the ropes like a boxer and Kwhame with the left and right body shots to Chad.

Triple OG Richardson
Kwhame doesn't fuck around, all business here. Him and Chad actually go way back to the Hood Tribe but that doesn't matter to Kwhame when a chance at the title could be effected by toght's results.

Average N.
Yeah and what Richardson is basically saying is, it's only a matter of time before Kwhame knocks Chad's lights out.

Queen Z
The referee forcing Kwhame off of Chad as that was getting ugly. Kwhame with a spear attempt but Chad dodges and hits the Knockout Punch! Kwhame is down!

Average N.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

Triple OG Richardson
My ni-

Queen Z
Your...?

Triple OG Richardson
My ninja turtle!

Queen Z
Which one was Kwhame again? I believe Shad was Raphael, Hipp was Michaelangelo, Chad was Donatello, so Kwhame must be Leonardo. Cause Cube was Master Splinter.

Triple OG Richardson
I can't believe Donatello has knocked the black off Leonardo's ass here toght! Only in WKS!

Winner: Chad Jennings wins via Knockout by Knockout Punch in 3:04

Queen Z
people people people - the lights are off again and that music...

Average N.
What's that voice?

Voice
Chad...Chad!

Triple OG Richardson
I would not want to be Chadda right now.

On the titantron, a little girl appears, about eight or nine years old, with orange-pinkish hair. It's Girl Hipp, but we only see the side of her face and her hair and neck as she looks down at the floor.

Girl Hipp
Chad. I don't mean to be rude, but you seem to be done playing with Kwhame. Mind if I borrow him?

Chad Jennings
Hey Girl, how have you been?

Girl Hipp
Ugh, I don't have time for small talk. That's why I'm only taking Kwhame!

The lights go off again, only this time, Girl Hipp's theme plays instead of her fathers. When the lights come back on, Kwhame is missing, and Chad runs all the way up the ramp to the back.

Girl Hipp
Thanks for your help, Chadda.

The titantron goes blank.

Queen Z
What is Girl Hipp doing here? There's still a week until The Paradox is supposed to open!?! What does she want with Kwhame and the other Prodigys?

[Hipp]

"Dead Cunt Maniac" by Arkhon Infaustus plays and out comes Frank Shamrock acting like a dead cunt maniac. He paces back and forth on the ramp, almost as if he doesn't want to enter the ring. Finally he does, pumping himself up by hitting himself in the face.

Queen Z
Frank ain't scared, he seen crazier people in the mcdonalds last week!

Average N.
...

Triple OG Richardson
Yep.

Average N.
You're hard to talk to.

Queen Z
I'm hard to talk to?

Average N.
Yeah.

"The Dragon Song" blasts through the P.A. and Affzilla waddles onto the entrance ramp, getting good applause. He enters the ring and blows a cheap looking fireball.

Queen Z
Last week, Affzilla not only got a win over Michael Rissi, seemingly running him out of WKS, but he also blew fire on The Bandit to unfreeze him.

Average N.
He almost got shot though.

Triple OG Richardson
It's gonna feel like he got shot when Frank hits him!

Affzilla vs Frank Shamrock

Queen Z
I don't know how Affzilla moves around in that outfit, but he better be careful, Frank has superb footwork.

Average N.
Affzilla with a lou thesz press! And he's hammering away at Frank! Affzilla to the top rope, he hits a big splash!

Triple OG Richardson
Pin-1-jet the fuck out!

Queen Z
Frank gets up, but Affzilla with the bear hug, he's only tall enough to reach around Frank's waist.

Average N.
Yeah, Frank just knees Aff in the gut and that breaks the hold.

Queen Z
Frank is looking to throw some dangerous kicks but Affzilla with a fireball...to the ref?!?

Triple OG Richardson
Damn! Ref goes down!

Queen Z
Affzilla trying to low blow Frank, but Frank catches his arm and hits him with the flying knee!

Triple OG Richardson
Flying knee right to the fluffeh!

Average N.
Good try by Affeh, but Frank is a big dog! Can't fuck with him!

Queen Z
Frank wakes the ref up, and applies the armbar to the ref who taps the fuck out! But then he picks the ref up and tries to tell him that it was Affzilla who put the armbar on him!

Triple OG Richardson
What's that all about?

Queen Z
Affzilla is back up though, he jumps up and taps Frank on the shoulder, readying another fireball, but Frank kicks the flame out of his DSL's and applies the Achillies Lock! Affzilla is tapping out!

Winner: Frank Shamrock via Submission by Achillies Lock in 41:29

Queen Z
Well, we made it through the ght without getting person napped by a kid, thats good enough for me, I'm out of here! G'ght!